hopes and dreams

Hi Jack--

Tonight your dad and I went out for a very nice and expensive dinner where we ordered whatever we wanted regardless of cost as we prepare for months of focusing on you. We are excited about it but also enjoying our time right now.

I just wanted to share with you something that we do sometimes. When out on a date with my sweet husband, I will lean across the table and ask your dad like it is our first date, " so, what are your hopes and dreams?" Tonight when I asked him that question, we started to talk about you. Here are some of our hopes and dreams for you.

1) We hope that you will think back on your childhood when you are an adult and know that we loved you and that we did our best.
2) We hope that you will be smarter than us and maybe even a true genius whose mind is way past ours. ( If not, that is okay too)
3) We hope that you play professional baseball. ( that one is more of a dream)
4) We hope that our family will be a close one.
5) We hope that we will create some traditions and activities that you carry on when you get older and think back on fondly- even if to just say that we were nerdy.
6) We hope that you will be patient when learning how to do something like your dad is and we hope that you will be passionate like me.

About passion and compassion-- tonight on our way to dinner, we passed by a woman who suffers from mental illness-- she was sitting on a bus stop bench and she was yelling and crying. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about her. You see, the average person at this type of moment thinks about themself-- they think about how uncomfortable it is for THEM to be hearing her scream in public-- disrupting their walk by. But not me-- I feel so sad that she has an illness that she cannot afford to treat with medication. I feel sad that she has no family whose arms around her, tell her that everything is okay. I feel sad and confused as to God's purpose in her life-- why is she being allowed to hurt and hurt with no comfort. I feel helpless to help her because she is not just a homeless person but a person who would continue to be in pain if I handed her money and a blanket, food and a place to live. My hope for you is that you will see those moments, ones that we don't understand until we have a chance to ask God ourselves, and that you will not think about your discomfort-- but that of the other person. If you do this, you will feel sad and confused many times in your life-- but you will be closer to God's heart, closer to knowing what this experience of life is supposed to really be about.

I am starting to cry as I write this and I can tell you also-- that I hope you know I love you--