the 4th of july!!!

Oh, how a year has flown by! Your dad and I just came back in from watching the fireworks. He took pictures and I just sat there very nauseated thinking of you and this past year, and also about where we might be in one year from now. This year you are asleep upstairs and did not wake up from the noise. Yet. Last year you were a little bundle in my arms that shook with the first few fireworks and then you fell asleep. Next year you will be a bright eyed boy who will probably fight to stay awake and there will be another little bundle in my arms asleep. I saw a mommy with a little boy and a baby like I will be next year. The little boy watched the fireworks and held onto his mom's leg. I hope to never ignore what it feels like for you to lean against me. Because some day, I will hope that you will lean on me but you won't need to. I hope to cherish those moments as much as possible.

We just got back from a week long vacation in hot Arizona. We went to Maricopa to see all the Murphrees, Tucson to see Uncle Jeff and Lady Kristen. Then all the way up to Flagstaff to see Ochen and Uncle James and some friends. You were a wonder- being passed from person to person, sleeping in several different places, different temps, new activities, new foods--- everything. The worst thing you did in a whole week was give a ridiculous scowl face when people tried to make you smile. It was sooo cute. You had so much fun playing with your cousins and snuggling Gretchen. We made the long drive home yesterday all of us with head colds from the dry air. You sat in your car seat for the better part of 9 hours and did not have a single meltdown. We have been so lucky.

Hi number 2--- right now, I am praying for patience with you. I feel so awful every day all day. Nothing tastes good or sounds good but I have to keep eating to keep from gagging. All I try to keep saying in my head is-- this is how it was with Jack and he turned out great and to be worth it. So- I am confident you will turn out great and be worth it. But could I have a short break? You are currently the size of a lime and we get to see you this Wednesday! And I look forward to the days where every food sounds good and you are rolling around in my belly.

I hope over the years that we celebrate the 4th of July together watching fireworks and leaning against eachother in that night air, enjoying the silence that is only broken by the pops of the fireworks. I love you!