JUST a baby trex

Though the weight of life has been pretty heavy on my heart lately- you are light. You, even in your most frustrating state- are the easiest compass pointing to God's type of love, God's type of life without worry.

Tonight we were home snuggling because you've both been sick for a week, now Charlie has a double ear infection and strep throat. I have a HORRID confession to make-- so why not do it on the internet? I mean- no one reads this anyway. Sometimes, I'm not sad when you are sick, because it means that I get to do my favorite job better and be with you more. I long for more time with you, when you are sick you need me more and are sweeter and more snuggly. No, I don't want your bodies to be sick-- but I do love being around you more.

Tonight I rubbed each one of your backs until you fell asleep. We prayed and you both wanted me to ask God to help you not cough all night. God's answer to that prayer is currently- not yet. Because you are both in there coughing away!

Jack, as I rubbed your back, you said--"mama! You need to cut your fingernails! It feels like my back scratches are from a T-Rex! But, actually, did you know mama? I would like to have a baby t-rex for my pet. I would like to put my little baby t-rex into a grocery shopping cart and push it around the world and it would help me with all of the things that I don't know how to do. And everyone would say, 'oh- look at that boy who has such a cute baby t-rex.'"

Then Charlie- you said, "ummm Jatt! I think it's my turn to tell my story? I would like to just have a real dog. Like a little one that would just scratch me right here really soft and I would make him a nice warm bed and we would just snuggle and snuggle and talk about our day."

As I lay down with Charlie after Jack had already fallen asleep, I hear a sleepy whisper and I look over to see you singing in your sleep Jack--- you were saying, "he loves me JESUS he loves me JESUS he loves me JESUS!"

Walking out of your room, I always lean over your beds and say to each of you, with eye contact preferably- "I love you with an everlasting love."

Tomorrow we will be home all day with my little sickies-wickies. Maybe we'll go on adventures with a Trex baby, research kinds of dogs we may like to have, draw, read books, make up Thomas stories, watch a movie you've seen 100 times like Wall-E. But most importantly- we will end the day knowing again, I love you with a love that never ends.