You are both sick with a cold and asleep in your room snoring with snot rattling around in your noses. We have had long nights every night and long days every day. I often wonder how my body is continuing to function.
Last Sunday night at church, I became very emotional about the fact that when Jack was born, I prayed with our family and prayed by myself that you belong to God and that you are on loan to me. That God has got you in His capable hands and that I needn't be overwhelmed by worry but just do my very best and trust Him. Most of the time in most circumstances, I think that I believe this, but I have a secret fear ( as if God doesn't know what I'm thinking) that I couldn't handle if something happened to you. I sometimes become overwhelmed by the fear of danger. I prayed with your dad while taking communion that I am going to trust God and that it's going to need constant re-commitment to actually mean it.
The next night when I got home from work, your dad was holding Charlie on his chest because your breathing was so labored that you had drips of snot coming in and out of your nostrils with every breath. I noticed a red circle on your cheek and asked dad about it- he said it hadn't been there a second ago. I decided to look around, you had hives in several spots on your body. We ended up at the ER, and you are more than likely allergic to Penicillin. This is something that you'll no doubt know about for the rest of your life as you'll have to mention it.
All is okay with that but then you started getting sick again once you were not taking your antibiotic anymore that was supposed to be helping you get better. And- I did have another moment where God hears and responds to the fear and desire of my heart- which is that you'll be in danger and also that you'll be okay- in this case- both occurred.
I love you boys- we have had another week of snot, no sleep and crying- but oh so much more.
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