when it does not come naturally

Hello boys-- I realize it has been a while since I wrote-- we have had a fun filled and busy month but most of all- every time I wish I could sit down and write you a note- one of you needs me and the moment is passed. Hoping to catch up on a few things now. The first is the mum lesson of life of when "it" does not come easily to you. In your life, you'll figure out what your "it" is. Mine is patience with things. Not the general life things- I mean actual things or items. Inanimate objects. Know that God will test you where you are weak because He is trying to refine your character and make you a better person- more like Him. And sometimes I think He is just trying to get my attention and say-- "Hey Jen! Let it go! It's nothing really, even though you've made it huge! Take a deep breath!" (God always shouts in those moments I guess)

Today is Saturday and Jack and Daddy are still asleep. Dad got home at 3am from his job at the hospital, not out playing poker or anything like that :) Charlie woke up and after feeding him and changing him, I thought- might like to play with him with a nice cup of coffee instead of just staring at him without coffee. After all- everything- even a perfect little baby- looks more interesting and cute with coffee, right? Then came the test.

On the way in the kitchen, Charlie pukes down the front of my pajamas. He fusses so I decided to hold you Charlie while I make the coffee. While getting the tin of coffee open, I bobble it in my hand for a second and recover- praising myself in my head. I then put it too close to your little hands. Your bobbing head smiles at me as you swat at the thing you see in front of you and away it goes--- finely ground coffee everywhere on the floor.

Long story short- I know you're probably thinking that- I cleaned up the mess, made a few smaller ones in the process that had to be cleaned up. But I cleaned them up after taking a few deep breaths and declaring that a pile of coffee on the ground was not going to own me. That a few minutes sweeping the floor is not the end of the world, but instead a moment that I am being tested to master. I pray that you will find your area of lifelong test, you will recognize it early in life and try to master it so it doesn't slow you down or make you miss out on happiness. I pray that you'll have patience with me as you will undoubtedly witness my lack of patience in life. I'm a work in progress.

Now I have to go as Jack is singing away in his bedroom.