We went to the San Diego Zoo again last weekend and it was a real treat. Mackenzie and Madison and Uncle Mike were with us too. We literally walked and pushed you kids in strollers for 6 straight hours with a very short break for lunch. I climbed all the hills and trails through the animals for the entire time with my very pregnant belly. I actually started to feel better about the walking as the day went on- by the end of the day, I felt like I was in great shape! A true pregnancy delusion!
Jack- you were excited to see the animals this time so much more than last time. It was so fun to watch you focus on an animal, realize what it was ( to the best of your knowledge) and then get excited about it. So fun! Your favorites were probably the hippo, the polar bears, the meerkats and koalas and oranguatans. The oranguatans are my favorite- I could sit and watch them be for hours.
It was also fun to watch you play with Madison and Mackenzie. It was quite an education to be around them all the time because they are at a very argumentative age- Mackenzie wants to really be in charge of everything Madison does but Madison is starting to be aware of what she'd rather do and wants the ability to not follow instructions like any toodler but can't because Mackenzie is always trying to boss her around. It was a struggle to watch because we envisioned that you and Charlie will be the same way in a couple of years and we will be a referee for a living like Uncle Mike is with the girls. I can see though why it is so valuable for a person to have a sibling- otherwise how does one learn not to be a jerk all the time? I bet a whole bunch of real jerks are only children- but it's not their fault- they had no one to learn this stuff with!
Things are kind of tough right now in our family and it is nice to know that you are not aware of it. We are not sure how we are going to afford to have dad go back to work at less than unemployment pays, also how we are going to afford to have two babies if we both have to work but daycare is too expensive. Plus- on top of that and most importantly- I mourn every single day that I am at work that we cannot afford for me to be home with you. Every day I feel a sense of loss and not having been here with you to do your day. I think when Charlie gets here- I may become depressed if something doesn't give me more time with you. I am working so hard right now to have faith that God has got a tremendous plan for our family- a plan that will include the feeling of being a mom more than parttime. I hope that despite the tough times ahead- that you both have a blissful and fun childhood- you will have plenty of time to experience stresses of your own and as part of our family as you grow- I want your early childhood to feel safe and secure. But if you're old enough to be reading this- you should know- we are stringing together pearls of faith right now to try and find God's beautiful plan.
Charlie- you keep kicking around in there just like you have been- it makes me so happy to feel you there all the time and Jack- a sweet recent story about you- dropping you off at church this past weekend. There were four child and parent sets waiting at the door to sign their child in. The teenage girls who volunteer in the room looked past them and started squealing and waving, "Jack, it's Jack everyone- Hi baby Jack, Jack is here today!!!!!" It was embarassing and oh so awesome at the same time. It's tough being the cutest baby around- but you do it pretty well. You did a half smile and laid your head on my shoulder and I melted- and so did the volunteers at church.
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