how deep

Jack,

God's love is sooo deep. By that I mean something I did not get until recently. His love is so deep because He provides for us in ways that are unnecessary. We have been so abundantly blessed that this morning it overwhelmed me. I think and hope you will find me to be a passionate person during your life and that you will know I do not hold back on my feelings for what might be considered the minimum. I snuggle and kiss you until you squirm, I joke around alot, I cry often in joy and in sadness and I have even been known to yell alot-- hopefully this will be different for you, if I can learn how to use this mouth of mine in a more disciplined way.

This being said about me, this morning I was watching you on your changing table, all your clothes off after one of the most poop filled diapers I have seen you have. You were talking to yourself and flailing your arms around. And all of a sudden, I could not believe it. I could not believe that God would bless us with the most perfect baby ever made. I became overwhelmed with how much care He took to make you so perfect and to bless us with so much stuff to care for you with and entertain you with. I dropped to my knees with tears and thanked Him over and over and I was not concerned with whether that was a little "dramatic" or not. Because if God does not deserve that, then baseball, dramatic movies and other people certainly don't.

You will hopefully grow up with more things than you need. But I hope that you "get it." To be a person with too much stuff and not realize that it is a blessing, a privilege and a responsibility to share it and give it away and that God did not have to give it to you-- that takes time. But I am getting it more and more everyday. You are wonderfully and masterfully made and that is God's blessing to me- nothing that I can do to deserve you.

I hope that you will live a life that helps you see this-- it is so hard to see it when you are young, because the world is fighting so hard to tell you that you deserve everything and that the whole world revolves around you-- but it does not. This world is God's and He has been so loving to us. He wants us to just be loving back to Him. Showing you how to do that and why to do that, is my new lifetime job. Finding how it looks for you, is your new lifetime job. Depending on when you read this, you might not be as interested as you should be, but hopefully someday you are eager to find out what kind of man God made you to be.

mom